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Tips for improving emotional intelligence

1. Assume Best Intentions

If you don’t feel under attack, your awareness of other people feelings increases because you feel more connected to them.

1. Never Send Emails When You Are Angry

Emotional intelligence, in this case, is exercised by applying self-regulation and resisting the urge to lash out

1. Criticize In Private, Praise In Public

2. Allow People To Save Face

Letting a one-time excuse go is allowing them to save face, and it shows good social skills. If the same person keeps on making excuses, it becomes a pattern. Patterns need to be addressed, but do it in private. If the trend continues, you may have to call it out in public to send the message that excuses are not acceptable.

1. Be Maniacal About Giving People Credit For Their Contributions

2. Put Yourself In Other People Shoes

3. Have Contingency Plans

Interacting with people is like a game of chess. Every decision you make and word you say could have different effects and consequences.

1. Be Aware of How You Impact Others

Some ways of increasing your awareness:

• Put yourself in other people’s shoes (as discussed).
• Read the room by examining nonverbal cues and body language.
• Pay attention to micro-expressions.
• Talk to people one or more days after you said something that might have had an emotional impact. Try to understand how people perceived the message, and why.
• Ask for feedback to become aware of how others see you.
• Note any change in how people interact with you, and find out what caused the change

1. Take Responsibility For Everything You Can Influence

A total ownership mindset gives you the motivation and awareness necessary to be deliberate in your actions and interactions. It keeps you away from letting things happen accidentally and pushes you to pay attention to details.

1. Listen

Listening is about absorbing and understanding somebody’s message; making connections and anchoring it to other concepts.

1. Become Genuinely Interested In Other People

The more you become interested in others, the more you can learn about people in general. Your emotional intelligence is proportional to your interest in other people. Additionally, when you become interested in somebody, that interest will be reciprocated, reinforcing your relationship.